Interning for the Devil
by SummerEliza
Summary: It started with a broken down boat and an abandoned old summer camp and quickly turned into a crazy internship with a sadistic celebrity, evil nemesis, and unexpected romance. Hopefully, good will triumph and nobody will die! Told from an intern's POV.
1. Chapter One: Day One

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Total Drama Island belongs other, richer people.

* * *

_There was a large explosion. And then a larger explosion. And then, just when you thought it couldn't get any larger, there was an even larger one. Why did Chris like explosions so much?_

_ Oops, got distracted. Can't get distracted if I want to survive. A figure dashed out of the fire. That's my boyfriend. Cute, isn't he? Wait, no distractions._

_ "Jump!" he yelled up at me. "I'll catch you!"_

_ Cue the girl jumping off a building carrying a bunch of red balloons. That's me. True to his word, my boyfriend caught me and ran for the finish line. We passed it without incident and Chris greeted us with a gleeful expression. _

_ "And the Golden Couple win again," he said. "Too bad about the rest of them."_

_ "Stow it, Maclean," I shot at him. Most likely, he was happy about the other people being injured/maimed and not about our win. _

_ This all started approximately two weeks ago, with a broken down old boat and an abandoned summer camp….._

_

* * *

_I jumped off the dilapidated boat before anybody else, desperate for fresh air. Seriously, why did the show charter such a terrible piece of junk to pick us up? I was expecting something classy when I was informed that transportation would be provided. A duffel bag hit me in the back of the knees, sending me to the ground. I got to my feet, wiping sand off my new navy blazer- Ann Taylor, bought just for this wonderful opportunity- and turned on the guy standing next to me.

"Exactly _what_ are you doing?" I said, adopting the angry boss' pose. Arms crossed, eyebrows raised, and glare at the ready. It was a pose I had learned from my corporate mother, who couldn't quite draw the line between being the boss at a large office and being a mother of three.

"Huh?" was the _wonderfully_ coherent response I received from the shaggy haired guy next to me. Please note the sarcasm.

"Would you please keep your baggage away from my person?" I requested.

"Dude, what's your damage?"

I studied him critically, another trick I had learned from mom. It struck fear into the hearts of those you were appraising. He was taller than me only by a few inches, a lot of which was just because of how fluffy his brown hair was. His black t-shirt proclaimed him to be a SKATER BOI! in large purple lettering. "Don't call me dude," I replied. Feminists everywhere had fought against derogatory terms and the like for years, so I wasn't likely to allow myself to be called _dude._ "Use something more gender-appropriate. Now, I have no 'damage'." As much as I was normally opposed to air quotes, they worked in that situation. "Do people even say that anymore? If you're going to use slang, at least update your vocabulary to the twenty-first century, okay?"

I turned my attention away from Skater Boi and surveyed the surrounding area. I don't know what I was expecting, but what I was faced with was definitely not it. The boat had dropped us at what looked to be a ruined old summer camp in the middle of nowhere. I hoped the two men approaching us were going to direct us to where we would be staying for the next two months. Maybe the accommodations I had read about in the brochure were on the other side of the island?

"Okay, interns," the man on the right said when he got close enough to speak. "We've got work to do, so drop your bags and I'll divide into your groups." Wow, getting right down to business. I had chosen the right internship. Another correct decision in a long line of other good choices. I paused in my self-congratulations to scrutinize the man talking to us. I disregarded him quickly. Over-gelled hair and half shaved stubble did not raise you to the standard of importance I wanted in those overseeing me. "Group A is Alexis Bereford," That's me, by the way. "Dominic Callahan, Talia Dorian, Richard Drews-"

He went on, but I tuned him out in favor of scoping out my fellow interns. There were at least twenty of us standing around on the small, dirty beach. It was a rag-tag crew. I wondered how most of them had gotten past the rigorous screening process. (Okay, maybe it wasn't so rigorous. But from the tone of the acceptance letter I had received, I had blown them out of the water with my resume!)

Skater Boi was still standing next to me, far too close for my liking, and a girly girl with thick black hair stood next him. She was checking her caked on eye makeup in a compact mirror. Next to Makeup Mask, a tall, muscular guy was grinning up at the sky. On my other side, a girl was bobbing her head to music I could hear coming from her headphones. I wanted to tell her that she was ruining her hearing, which she would regret for the rest of her life, but I doubted she could hear me and I doubted she would care even if she could.

"And that's all of you," Gel Man said. "Group A, come with me. Groups B and C, go with Chef." He gestured to the black man in army fatigues standing next to him.

"I told you not to call me that!" Chef barked, startling most of us with the sheer volume of his voice.

"What-eeeeever," Gel Man drawled. "I think it's better for the show if we change your name. Let's go!" He set off towards the hill and I made sure I was in the front of the group following him. "You'll all be working personally with me to create and test the challenges for the show," he said, walking briskly. Okay, create I could do. Test, maybe not. This show was going to be like Survivor or something, right? Eating bugs and stuff like that was not my forte. But they wouldn't make us do stuff like that. We were, after all, minors.

We stopped at the top of the hill and I saw that it wasn't a hill. It was more of a cliff. "So the first thing you're going to do is jump off this cliff," he said, as if that was something normal to suggest.

I raised my hand tentatively and he nodded in my direction. "Are you _serious_?" I said.

"As a heart attack," he said.

"That's dangerous," I pointed out.

"And your point is?"

"You can't make us do that," I protested. "We have legal rights!"

"Which you gave up as soon as you signed the contract," he said smugly. He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Article A, Subsection Three."

I unfolded it and read what he had directed me to. "You must do everything Chris Maclean says." That name rang some bells. Wasn't that the name of the host of the show? I didn't watch reality TV much- well, I didn't watch non-educational TV much in general. But my friends said Chris was the new super hot celeb to watch.

"And I'm Chris, so you have to listen to me," Gel Man said smugly. Really? My friends thought this man with enough gel in his hair for three other people was hot?

I took another look at the paper. You must do everything Chris Maclean says? That's sort of pathetic. It's not even written in legal jargon to confuse us. And I _signed _this document?

It was because the print was really small.

I was still screaming when I resurfaced from cannonballing into the lake. It was mixed in with a hacking cough, because I hadn't managed to close my mouth while I was underwater. Lake water tasted disgusting. I started swimming as fast as I could, partially to avoid the next person that jumped and partially to get as far away from the sharks and piranhas as possible. I pulled off the Ann Taylor blazer when I reached shore. It was ruined beyond repair. A small piranha came off with it, and I let out another girly shriek.

"Hey, you okay?" a familiar dopey voice said. Skater Boi picked up the jacket and threw it back in the lake along with the angry, flesh-eating fish.

"What do you think?" I shot at him. Seriously, I had just signed my life away at an internship that was going to risk my life and limb. Okay didn't remotely resemble what I was at that moment.

He held up his hands in a surrendering pose. "Chill out," he said.

I decided that speaking to him would just make me madder, so I settled for hmph-ing loudly and pointedly ignoring him.

I heard something that sounded distinctly like 'eek!' from behind me. Skater Boi and I both turned and saw Makeup Mask girl running in circles with a piranha hanging from the butt of her designer jeans. As she ran by, Skater Boi managed to place a well-aimed kick at the piranha and sending it flying into next week.

"Ohmahgawd, thank you!" Makeup Mask girl gushed, throwing her arms around Skater Boi once she realized the piranha was gone. Makeup Mask girl hugged in the weirdest way, standing on her tip toes and throwing her chest out. You could tell she really wanted him to notice her chest. It was so pathetic.

"Get back up here, interns," Chris yelled. "That looked too easy!"

We jogged back up the cliff reluctantly and spent the rest of the afternoon jumping off the cliff in different ways. Chris kept muttering things like "Get rid of the piranhas" and "Give them a target."

It was dark when he released us, directing us to grab our stuff, move into one of the cabins, and go to the mess hall for dinner. By that time, I was ready to throw a monster sized fit. I was staying in a cabin, eating in a mess hall, and jumping off cliffs instead of filing and learning about the world of TV in an air conditioned environment.

We were the last group to arrive in the mess hall. By the time we got there, the other two groups were already swapping stories of what they had done for the day.

"We caught poisonous snakes in the woods," somebody from Group B put in.

"Hah!" one of the boys from Group C said. He pushed his glasses up his nose and smirked. "We built cameras for every place on the campground." A bunch of the other Group C people nodded and I noticed that every one of them had glasses.

"Wow, that sounds fun," the girl with the loud music said nicely. I could still hear music coming from the headphones she had around her neck.

"It was kind of like a sweatshop," a girl from Group C whispered.

"We jumped off a cliff over and over and over again!" a guy from our group said proudly. We got several wows and general amazement from the other two groups.

"Pizza's here!" Chef yelled, emerging from the kitchen with several boxes in his arms. He dropped them on the table and we all leapt for them. If there is one thing most teenagers have in common, it's that we get very hungry. Thus, about twenty starving teens in a room with pizza means a riot will break out.

* * *

The cabin was officially the worst building I had ever been inside. The bedsheets were itchy, the mattresses creaked and might have been homes for dirty animals, and the ceiling had several holes in it. There was also an iron stove in the corner, which confused me. Somebody had lit it, making the room unbearably hot.

My roommates were as dismal looking as the room was. I was bunking with Skater Boi, Makeup Mask, Loud Music Girl, the athletic guy, and a small brown-haired girl with glasses from Group C.

"I call this bunk!" Makeup Mask yelled, leaping for one of the bunkbeds. "Right next to you, Dominic." I don't think it was possible to be any flirtier. Her eyelashes were batting faster than hummingbird wings.

"Hey, check this out!" the girl from Group C said excitedly. When we all looked, she was dangling from one of the top bunks by her knees.

"I don't think that's a good id-" Before I could even get my full thought out, she had crashed to the ground, head-first.

"Dude, you okay?" Skater Boi asked, crouching next to her.

"I'm fine," she said in a strained whisper. "I'll walk it off." Despite saying she'd 'walk it off' she didn't move from her position on the floor.

"Is there an infirmary or something around here?" he asked.

"Already been there twice today," she said. "Nobody's there."

Okay, let's move on from the girl who injured herself being stupid. I have connections to make. Maybe one of these sad-looking people would be a good person to know. "Why don't we go around and introduce ourselves?" I suggested, sitting on a bed. I stood up quickly when I felt something moving below me. "I'm Alexis."

"Patrick, sweetie," really buff guy said, grinning at me widely.

"Don't call me sweetie," I said flatly.

"Talia," Makeup Mask said. She giggled and twirled a strand of hair, even though there was nothing to giggle about.

"Dominic," Skater Boi said.

"Nina," the girl on the ground moaned.

I elbowed Loud Music Girl, who had her headphones on again. She pulled them off and stared at me quizzically. "Your name?" I asked.

"Erica." The headphones went on again.

Something tickled my foot. I looked down and saw a cockroach crawling across my ballet flat clad foot. Wonderful. This day officially sucked.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter Two: Day Two

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Total Drama Franchise. Now, back to Alexis.

* * *

5 AM wakeup calls were cruel and unusual punishment. 5 AM wakeup calls meant I didn't have time to calm my unruly red Irish curls before 5:30. Sharing a bathroom with twenty other people meant I didn't even get to shower. So who can blame me for being cranky?

I stumbled outside, not looking nearly as fresh and well-groomed as I normally do, and focused on shooting latent rays of pure hate out of my eyes at Chris Maclean. When Skater Boi- Dominic- stood next to me looking like he wanted to say something I snapped at him.

"What do you want?" I spat at him.

"Um, you're-"

"I changed my mind," I cut him off. "I'm not interested. Why don't you talk to somebody interested, like Talia, Skater Boi?" Whoops, I hadn't meant to share my private nickname for him.

"I just wanted to tell you that you're only wearing one shoe," he said, pointing to my feet.

Apparently, 5 AM wakeup calls also meant I wasn't awake enough to function.

I let out a cry of pure frustration and stomped back towards the cabin. I fished around under my bed, being careful to avoid any creepy crawly things hanging out under there, and located my other shoe.

I rejoined the group just as Chris made a particularly disturbing screeching noise with his megaphone. "Okay interns," he said, his already annoying voice amplified to even more annoying levels. I hooked my shoe onto my foot and tried to smooth my hair down a bit. "Once again. Group A come with-"

"Sorry I'm late!" Talia called, running towards the group. She was annoyingly fresh and perky. I glared at her. She was the reason I hadn't gotten a shower. She had tied up the communal bathroom for _forever_. It probably took her that long to put on her pounds of makeup.

"Anyway," Chris continued. "Group A come with-"

"Has anyone seen my shoe?" Talia interrupted again. "Somebody stole it!"

I didn't bother to acknowledge that. Does she only have one pair of shoes or something? "Group A come with me," Chris finally managed to say, shooting death rays of his own at Talia. "Group B goes to the forest and Group C is placing their cameras around the campsite."

"Hey, you took my shoe!" Talia yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at me.

I gave her my most withering stare. "Of course I didn't."

"Why don't your shoes match then?" she asked smugly.

"My shoes match, you id-" I trailed off when I noticed that actually, my shoes _didn't_ match. Sure, they were both ballet flats and they were both blue, but hers had a giant white bow and were infinitely more tacky than mine. Plus, the shoe didn't even really fit me. But hadn't I taken the shoe from under my bed?

Oh, forget it, in my sleep deprived state, anything was possible.

"Thief!" she yelled, advancing on me with a triumphant stare.

"Oh, take your stupid shoe!" I said, fed up with the whole situation. I pulled it off my foot and threw it in her direction. Of course, with my terrible aim, the situation went horribly wrong. Several jaws dropped simultaneously, mine included, when the shoe hit her in the face. And that was the beginning of a long-lasting rivalry.

* * *

I spooned a mouthful of blended disgustingness into my mouth and nearly gagged it out. I swallowed as quickly as humanly possible and bent over the clipboard next to it. Blended cockroaches. I had just eaten_ blended cockroaches_. I circled a ten and tried not to hurl.

When Chris had led us into the mess hall earlier that morning, a buffet table of things I wished I had never seen was set out. He tasked us with sampling everything and rating it in terms of disgustingness. So far, everything I had eaten was a ten.

"Ohmahgawd, she's such a beyotch," Talia whispered loudly. "I totally can't believe she would steal. And she looks totally terrible doesn't she? I guess that's what happens when you can't afford a plastic surgeon." Her cronies cackled along with her. (Yeah, she already had a posse. Ridiculous, right?)

"I knew it!" I said, giving her a sickly sweet smile. "You had plastic surgery! Nobody's born with a nose that crooked. You sued the surgeon, right?"

"Ouch!" Patrick- aka my really buff, tan roommate- yelled. Apparently other people were listening to this argument. "You go sista!" That comment was not appreciated by yours truly.

Talia's hands flew up to her nose and she glared at me. "At least my hair doesn't make me look like Chucky!"

Burn. I rolled my eyes dramatically. Now maybe that bowl of hangnail soup could just tip over a little bit and spill all over her. I bumped the table with my hip, hoping I could will it to tip all the way. Instead, I managed to spill something brown and still wriggling over Dominic.

"Dude, it's moving!" he said, holding his shirt away from his body. He ran out of the room at top speed.

"You totally did that on purpose!" Talia accused.

I suddenly had everybody in the room glaring at me. I sighed.

* * *

"After that relaxing morning, I thought I'd give you guys something more fun to do," Chris announced. "So all you have to do here is race down the cliff in these go karts and ride all the way around the island until you get to the finish line at the beach. Oh, and just to keep it interesting, the last person back doesn't get lunch."

Doesn't get lunch? DOESN'T GET LUNCH? _**IF I DON'T DO WELL I WON'T GET ANY FREAKING LUNCH?**_

"Here are the teams," Chris continued, oblivious to everyone's abject horror. "Alexis and Dominic, Talia and Richard-"

I was so mad I couldn't see straight. Now Chris wasn't just making us do ridiculous things, he was making us compete in them? And I had to do this with Dominic, who I had just spilled something unidentifiable onto.

I wanted that lunch. I had just eaten unspeakable things for breakfast, so I deserved a delicious lunch. "Your cart, milady," Patrick said, opening the tiny door on the side of my cart. It came off in his hand and I snickered. Dominic pretty much ignored me once we were in the cart. I noticed that he was wearing a new shirt. I felt sort of bad, so I didn't even protest when he took control of the wheel.

Of course, like everything else in this campground, the go karts were in terrible shape. I felt like I was sitting on a rock instead of a seat and I swore I could see some bolts falling off at the back.

Patrick smiled and waved at me. What was up with him? I didn't get why he kept spouting cheesy pickup lines and trying to be some sort of strange gentleman from the eighteenth century.

"On your mark, get set," Chris said slowly. "Goooooo!"

We leapt into action!

I wish I could say that, but it didn't happen. When Dominic pressed on the gas, the kart sputtered, shuddered, and didn't move an inch. I moaned and jumped out of the kart. Talia turned around in her seat and waved with the smuggest smile on her face. Her cart disappeared from view and I kicked our dumb old kart in frustration. A piece fell off the back, as if to spite me.

"That's not going to do anything," Dominic said patiently.

"Do you have a better idea?" I snapped. I kicked it again and amazingly, it sputtered to life. And since Dominic still had his foot jammed on the gas, he flew forward and left me in the dust. I sprinted after him, yelling for him to stop.

"I can't!" he yelled back.

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"The gas pedal is stuck!"

"Figures," I muttered to myself. I skidded to a stop and stared furiously in the direction Dominic had disappeared.

"Better get moving," Chris said, walking past me casually. "If both of you don't pass the finish line together, it doesn't count."

How the heck was I supposed to catch up?

* * *

I came up with an idea eventually. All I had to do was get to the beach and intercept the kart before it passed the finish line. I got to the beach easily and waited. And waited. And waited. Seriously, how long does it take to drive around this island?

It took a really really really long time, but I eventually sighted two specks in the distance. They stopped being specks pretty quickly and got closer at an alarming rate. One of the carts was mine, but the other belonged to Talia and her partner. Their cart was made of bare bones- an engine and two seats held together by spindly wiring. All of the outer coverings of their kart had disappeared to who knows where.

The two karts were neck in neck and Talia sure didn't look happy to see me. I'm sure Talia was trying to run me over. Really, I'm not just paranoid. Just as she nearly sent me flying, I leapt for Dominic and our uncontrollable kart. It didn't quite work as I planned. Instead of landing neatly inside the kart like an awesome action hero, the front of the kart smashed into my stomach and pushed me across the finish line. I clung to the kart desperately, hoping I wasn't going to be thrown to a gruesome death.

"Awesome!" Chris cheered as we flew by him. "You guys win!"

"Stop the kart!" I ordered Dominic. I don't think I had ever been more terrified than I was at that moment. The kart was going at such a high speed that I don't think I could have fallen off even if I had released my death grip on the out of control machine, but I was certain that that was how I was going to die. Death by go kart. Such a sad way to go.

"If I could, I would have already," Dominic informed me, far calmer than I was. He was amazing collected under the pressure, my frazzled and panic struck brain noted. I felt water touch my ankles and I maxed out the panic scale. Now I was going to die by drowning? That might actually be worse than death by go kart!

Thankfully, at least one of the people on the kart was using their brain. (I'll give you a hint: It wasn't me.) Once we were partially submerged in the water, Dominic hopped off and pulled me with him. The kart left us behind. It must have stopped eventually, but who knows where it is now.

We stood in the ocean, the water swirling around our legs. I proceeded to start shaking with pure, unadulterated fear. "We almost _died_!" I shrieked.

"Hey, chill, it'll be fine," he said soothingly, a comforting arm around me. "It's all good." Amazingly, that calmed me a little bit.

I heard a wolf whistle from the shore and saw the majority of Group A staring at us. Then I remembered where I was and with whom. Then the comforting arm didn't seem so comforting anymore. I extricated myself from him and stalked back to shore. "Got a new boyfriend, Alexis?" Talia said, a mean smirk on her face.

"Shut up," I snapped.

"Alexis and Dominic sitting in a tree," she sang. It got worse. The whole group joined in, including Chris. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, second comes-"

"Could you be any more juvenile?" I asked.

"Third comes a baby in a baby carriage," they finished.

It depressed me later when I realized that I wouldn't have come in last even if I didn't throw myself in the way of a moving vehicle because so many people had crashed along the way.

* * *

"Oooh," Talia cooed. "Sitting next to lover boy, I see."

"I didn't sit next to him, he sat next to me!" I yelled after her. She waltzed away with her plate in hand and sat at the opposite end of the mess hall table.

"Wow, I didn't know that was a crime," Dominic said good-naturedly.

"Why are you sitting here?" I hissed.

"I'm just sitting by my buddy, Patrick," he replied, gesturing across the table at the muscular guy. Patrick smiled in my direction but I rolled my eyes.

"Well, could you just avoid me from now on?" I said. "Both of you," I said, turning on Patrick. I took an angry bite of my pizza.

"No can do," Dominic said cheerfully.

"Why?"

"I like you." He smiled and I noticed that he had a dimple on his right cheek. "You're pretty fun."

"Well, I don't like you," I replied.

"And you're honest," he said. Wow, everything just bounced off him. I could probably curse him out and he would laugh it off.

"Besides, honey, you're fun to tease," Patrick added.

My mood managed to get even blacker than it already was. I stood and stomped to the garbage to throw out my paper plate. When I came back, the conversation had moved on.

"I heard she got a concussion," Dominic said, leaning his elbows on the table.

"She gets to go home?" Patrick said. "Lucky!"

I was against talking to them, but this sounded interesting. "Who?"

"I thought you wanted to avoid me?" Dominic said, the wide smile appearing again. The dimple was really cute. But it didn't make up for his terrible personality. I fixed him with my deadliest glare. He laughed and answered my question. "Rachel, one of the girls in our group."

"She got a concussion? How?" I asked.

"Crashed her kart into a tree, sweetie," Patrick said matter-of-factly.

"She gets to go home?" I asked. "She is lucky." And then it registered that he had just called me sweetie, so I yelled at him.

* * *

_I didn't know until later, but at that time one of the Group B girls was in the infirmary after being bitten by a poisonous snake. Those two girls might have been the first to be injured, but they definitely weren't the last. _

_

* * *

_

I laid in my bed, my eyes fixed on a dark spot in the wood on top of me. Was that a discoloration in the wood, or a large bug? I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep until I figured it out.

"Heeheehee, Dominic, you're so funny," Talia simpered. I didn't even need to look at her to know that she was practically sitting in his lap drooling over him. Her cackling laugh had been annoying me all night. Why wouldn't she leave him alone and go to bed so there could be peace in our cabin?

I didn't know why she was so obsessed with him either. Sure, he had an adorable dimple. (My thoughts are off the record, okay?) That didn't make him cuter than Patrick, who was seriously attractive. Plus, Dominic was tall and lanky while Patrick was buff and tan. Then again, they both had strange personalities.

The dark spot above my head moved, confirming its status as a creepy creature. I squealed and flipped out of the bed onto the floor.

So I'm scared of bugs. Sue me.

I lay on the floor for a split second feeling utterly ridiculous. Did I really just make a fool of myself in front of Dominic and Talia? Yeah? Just checking. I scrambled to my feet and stood there in my pajamas- which, by the way, are stylish, not gross like some people's are. "There's a bug," I said lamely. Dominic tried and failed to hide his smile. Talia didn't bother to conceal her laughter.

"I'll get the dastardly bug that dares frightens you!" Patrick said dramatically, leaping from the top bunk. The effect was kind of ruined by him stubbing his toe and hopping around the room in pain.

Dominic laughed hysterically. "What century are you from, dude?"

"I'm going to the bathroom," I announced shamed-facedly.

"Be careful of those giant bugs out there!" Talia called after me.

I waited until I was in the privacy of the bathroom stall to stick my tongue out at her.

* * *

Ah, the sweet sweet smell of drama! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter Three: Day Four

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island and all of its characters belong to Cake and Cartoon Network.

* * *

The strange mechanical moose Group C had built the other day bucked me off almost instantly, sending me flying into the surrounding trees. It was the fourth day of my internship, and I was almost getting used to this stuff. I was glad the branches broke my fall, but I was hooked on something and couldn't get down. "I'll help you!" Patrick said, already shimmying up the tree.

"Why do you sound like a cheesy action hero?" I muttered to myself. He unhooked me from whatever it was that was holding me and the two of us climbed down. "Thanks," I said once we were on the ground.

"I'm always glad to help a lady," he said smoothly.

Huh. If you were any smoother, I'd be spreading you on bread.

I heard a large boom from the direction of the moose corral. There was no moose in the corral anymore, only a girl collapsed on the ground and a flaming scrap of metal. Everyone within hearing distance ran for the girl, who I realized was my roommate, Erica. She was crying and screaming at the same time. I didn't get close to her, which I realized later was a good thing. She was badly injured and blood disgusted me. I wasn't planning to be a doctor for a reason. They took her to the infirmary and I never saw her again.

It was even more disturbing that the girl going home with serious injuries could have been me. I had been on that moose just a minute before her. The Group C people felt incredibly guilty about the exploding moose incident. Nobody blamed them. They were single-handedly building all of the technology on the campsite with sub-par tools and materials.

During lunch, I went back to our cabin to put on a new shirt. Someone had thrown up on mine after bungee jumping off the cliff. When I walked inside, I heard the sound of somebody crying. I looked up and saw Nina, the girl from Group C, sobbing on her bunk. Even though the very idea of comforting her pained me, I climbed up the ladder to her bunk and sat next to her.

"You okay?" That was a dumb thing to say. Of course she's not okay.

"No," she sniffled. "I might have killed Erica!"

"First of all, she didn't die," I pointed out. "But why do you think you did that?"

"Because I worked on the moose and I mess up everything I make!" she wailed.

"I'm sure you don't," I said reassuringly.

"I do," she said, nodding emphatically. "I don't know anything about computers or mechanical stuff. I don't even know why I'm in Group C!"

And that was when I figured out how Chris had created Group C. I had thought it was suspicious that they all had glasses, but I'd figured it was just a weird coincidence. It wasn't. Chris had sorted everybody that had glasses into Group C, assuming they would be smart. I resolved to give him a piece of my mind at the soonest possible time.

"You probably didn't mess up the moose," I said. Probably. It's not like I was going to lie to her just to make her feel better. "It's just that you guys are making all this stuff pretty much out of scrap. Don't worry about it." With that, I was done comforting her. I was moving on to something I was much better at: kicking butt.

* * *

"You low down, no good, dirty, rotten snake of a person!" I yelled. "Do you have no capacity for human emotion, you sadist? How could you _do_ that to people?" I paused and checked Chris' expression. The bored smile was still firmly lodged in place. It frustrated me, but if it hadn't been wiped off his face after about a minute of verbal onslaught, it wasn't moving any time soon.

"You done?" he asked.

"Yeah, whatever," I said, giving up.

And then he kissed me. What the hell?

I pushed him away and slapped him. I think I heard him laughing as I fled, the sadist. Next time I verbally abused him, I'll make sure to add 'playboy' to the list of insults. Then again, there was definitely not going to be a next time if he k-…. Ew. If he did _that_ every time I yelled at him.

I entered the mess hall to try and get some food before lunch was over. "Hey, Alexis!" I heard Dominic call. I looked at him and he stared at me quizzically. "I thought you were going to change your shirt?"

I looked down and saw my still puke-spattered shirt. Whoops. "I was- am, yeah," I stuttered, backing away. In the end, I didn't get any lunch. By time I changed my shirt and calmed myself, all the pizza was gone and Chris was already calling the groups together again.

I placed myself as far away from Chris as possible and refused to look at him. "Okay, people!" he announced. "This afternoon we're going to Boney Island!" He gestured at the island across the lake.

I gave him a weird look and I wasn't alone. Most of us had rowed close to the island in a canoe race that morning, and I had distinctly seen a sign that said it was called Pleasure Island.

"Chris, dude, you got the name wrong," Dominic pointed out.

"Not anymore," he said, waggling a finger from side to side. "Boney Island sounds much creepier. Plus I had some of Group B out there scattering snakes and creepy stuff around, so Pleasure Island just doesn't work anymore." He was pleased with himself. But then again, when wasn't he pleased with himself? "Had to find a home for those snakes," he mused. "The EPA was totally on our backs about removing the species from their home. But then again, we can't have contestants wandering in woods with snakes. It's just a lawsuit waiting to happen!"

And on that pleasant note (sarcasm), we grabbed the canoes and headed towards the newly christened Boney Island. Just my bad luck, Chris got it into his head that he was going to travel in my canoe. Which mean about ten minutes of uninterrupted Chris time, because he certainly wasn't going to row and my arms felt like noodles after that morning's canoe race.

"Okay, let's just cut to the chase," I said as soon as the other canoes were out of sight. I set down the oars and gave my arms a well deserved rest. "Why'd you k-" I shuddered and forced myself to get the word out. "Kiss me?"

He shrugged. "Cause you're hot and I wanted to."

As much as I was flattered (NOT), this was weird and strange and about a million other synonyms. I sighed and began to row again, realizing that I wasn't going to get anywhere with him. Chris was permanently in a world of his own, where nobody else mattered. "Just don't do it again."

He grinned. He was _so_ cocky. "No promises."

When we landed, everyone was waiting for us on the beach. Chris ordered everyone into the woods to test a 'survival challenge.' In other words, we were all going into the woods and would try not to get attacked by wild animals or bitten by a snake or eat something poisonous or something else dangerous that I couldn't think of.

Of course, what actually happened was one of the things that I couldn't think of. I was wandering the woods when the ground dropped out from under me. I found myself sitting on the ground, my tailbone a bit worse for the wear.

"Hi," Patrick said, smiling at me from across the pit I had fallen into.

I looked up at the sky and deemed the pit far too deep to climb out of. "Great," I muttered sarcastically.

* * *

It took a while for Patrick to get me out of my terrible mood, but he had all afternoon. And all night. And all morning. But let's rewind to about mid-afternoon, okay?

"And that's why Jessica threw that totally huge tantrum," Patrick said, winding up the third story about his little sister.

"Okay, enough already!" I said, throwing up my hands in surrender. "I'll talk to you. Yeesh, I'm not allowed to be quiet?"

"There's a difference between being quiet and ignoring me," Patrick said, chuckling. "But seriously, were my stories really that bad?"

"Yes," I said flatly. They were rambling and had no point and just went on and on and on with no sign of ever ending and he would randomly go off in these ridiculous side notes about other amazing things about his little sister and-

Great, he's rubbed off on me.

"But it's nice that you have such a cute sister," I said. "My brothers are like tiny little twin demons."

"I wish I had a brother," he said.

"No, you don't," I said. "They're all adorable and cute when people are watching but when nobody's looking they put glue in your shampoo and mix all your makeup together in one bottle!"

Patrick laughed at me and I rolled my eyes. The afternoon passed quickly, but I started to get worried when it got dark. I wondered if we were going to end up sleeping in the stupid pit. Indeed we did. I fell asleep on his shoulder and got the best night's sleep since I had first arrived to be an intern. The only downside was that I woke up with a terrible crick in my neck.

"What time is it?" I moaned, rubbing my sore neck.

"Elevenish, babe," Patrick said, way too energetic for the morning. I wondered how long he had been awake and then registered that I had just been called babe.

"You may not call me babe," I ranted, unleashing my fury. "You can't call me sweetie, or pumpkin, or cutie pie, or hot momma, or any other derogatory nickname you can come up with in that pea sized brain of yours!"

He froze and even stopped breathing for a moment. "Do you hear that?"

Evidently my hearing wasn't as good as his, but I could hear something if I really focused. "Yeah," I whispered, still glaring at him.

"Hey! Is anyone there?" Patrick yelled.

"Where are you?" a faint voice called back.

"Awesome, we're saved!" Patrick said, holding his hand up for a high five. I slapped him one gladly. "We're in this big hole!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!" both Patrick and I yelled.

"Marco!" As it got closer, I realized it was Dominic's voice.

"Polo!"

"Marco!" That one was right next to us. I looked up and saw Dominic leaning over the hole. He whistled in appreciation. "Wow, that's a huge hole. Did Group B really dig this huge thing?"

It took a bit- no a lot of work to get out of the hole, even with Dominic's help. In the end, I stood on Patrick's shoulders and Dominic pulled me out. Then, Dominic held me by the ankles and I pulled Patrick out. It took a lot of work on Dominic's part to get me to go along with that plan, because it was totally ridiculous. It was amazing when Dominic and I managed to pull Patrick out.

"So, how'd you find us?" I asked.

Dominic laughed sheepishly. "I heard you yelling. Besides, I got lost last night and gave up on making it out."

"Oh," I said. "Figures that Chris wouldn't send anyone to look for us."

The journey back took less time than I thought it would- only Dominic with his terrible sense of direction wouldn't be able to find the way back with the trail of strange objects Group B had scattered. The canoe was even still on the beach, to my relief. When we got back to the campsite, I ran for the mess hall. I was absolutely starving.

I almost gagged when I smelled pizza again. This was getting ridiculous. This was the fourth meal in a row that we'd been served pizza. Pizza for _breakfast_?

I walked into the mess hall with both Dominic and Patrick beside me and every head turned. I was hit by a flying Nina, who hugged me tightly. "You're okay!" she shouted. (In my ear, might I add.) "We thought you had gotten mauled by a bear like that one kid, or bitten by a snake like that other kid!"

Everyone was happy to see us alive. Even Talia ceased shooting me dirty looks for one more greasy meal.

* * *

This was an extremely quick update. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter Four: Day Six

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island and all of its characters belong to Cake and Cartoon Network.

* * *

"It's time for Mattress Skydiving!" Chris yelled over the whirring of the plane's engines. "You've got to jump out of here and hopefully you'll land on one of those soft mattresses! Because otherwise you'd be smushed like a bug on a windshield!" I swore I could hear him chuckling.

Dominic gave my hand a comforting squeeze, which actually helped my nerves a lot. I didn't bother to wait for further instructions from Chris. I jumped out of the plane immediately, sending prayers and several bargaining chips to whatever deity would listen. _God, I won't call my brothers the Brat Pack anymore. Buddha, I'll learn yoga. Uh, Zeus, I'll offer up some ambrosia and nectar next time I get to a Greek temple. (Which will be never.) Please, please, please, please don't let me die! Please, please, please, please-_

I hit something soft and bounced ridiculously high in the air. I hadn't realized I was screaming until all the air in my lungs was smashed out by a mattress. Someone went into the ground beside me and left a large hole. I hoped for it to be Talia and staggered off to get lunch.

"Hey, Alexis!" I looked up and saw Chris' helicopter hovering not too far away. I ducked away from the whirring prongs of death.

"What?" I said, disturbing memories of that one kiss running through my head. Ugh.

"We have new interns," Chris said, grinning at me. "Go get them and settle them in for me."

Why did his sexual harassment make me his gopher? "What'll you give me?" I demanded, sounding just a teensy bit bratty.

"What do you mean, what'll I give you?" he asked, his eyebrows zooming together. "You have to do what I say."

I leaned closer to the helicopter and tried to look confident. It wasn't too hard. "You'll give me something, or I'll sue for sexual harassment."

I could see the gears in his brain going into top gear, trying to figure out if I could do that. I couldn't. I had checked in that copy of the contract he had given me. There was a specific clause dedicated to it, which showed how well whoever had drafted the contract knew Chris. "Fine," he said. "What do you want?"

Yes! I emerge triumphant because of Chris' lack of knowledge. "A real breakfast for everyone," I said, grinning proudly.

"Yeah, whatever," he said, waving his hand dismissively at me. "Go get the new interns, kay?"

"Yes sir," I said mockingly. I spun around and ran for the dock before he could change his mind.

When I thought about it, it made sense that they hired new interns. We needed to replace the ones we lost. I was getting sick of doing more work to cover the missing people. I tried to figure out how many people were missing. There was Erica, who was hurt in that incident with the mechanical moose. There was the girl who got a concussion in the kart race, the guy who hurt himself in the mysterious explosion in the Arts and Crafts tent, the two people that got bitten by the poisonous snakes, and the one who got mauled by the bear….. I was pretty sure I was forgetting some of them.

* * *

"Hello people," I said boredly. The new interns were an even more rag-tag group than we were. There were a pair of twins sucking on lollipops. They looked to be about ten years old. On the far right, the tallest girl I had ever seen was slouching with her hands in her pockets. A guy on the left pushed glasses up his nose, and I put him down for Group C in my head. A girl in the middle had loud music playing from a pair of headphones. I frowned at her. She reminded me too much of Erica. They even had the same hair color.

"What happened to your shirt?" the twins chorused in unison.

Whoah. That was creepy.

I looked down at my shirt and saw that approximately half of it was burned off. "Oh, I was testing that weird fire-breathing dragon Group C built," I said. I paused when I noticed the freaked out expressions I had just induced. I laughed awkwardly. "Well, why don't you guys just head on over to the cabins," I said quickly. "There's an empty space in my cabin, which is on the far right…."

The twins ended up rooming with us. Once they decided to be in our room, there was no stopping them. They kept doing their creepy twin unison speaking thing until I got a great idea. All I had to do was kick out my evil nemesis- that's Talia if you couldn't tell- and move the twins in. Two birds, one stone. And then the score would be- Warrior of Good (that's me): 1. Demon Spawn (Talia): Zip.

I waltzed off to the mess hall, very pleased with myself, and grabbed a bite of pizza. Yum, my favorite. (Sarcasm) Even the guys were sick of pizza after eating it for almost a week. The twins sat at the table with us when they arrived and smiled angelically at everyone while chomping enthusiastically on pizza. Wait until they've been here a while. They won't be so enthusiastic about pizza then. "Dominic, Patrick, these are our new roommates," I said happily.

"But we only have room for one-" Dominic started to say.

"Don't be silly," I cut him off. "We've got plenty of room for these sweeties."

"Don't call us sweeties," they said together. "We don't like that."

"Woah!" Patrick said, looking at them strangely.

Dominic wasn't so affected by their creepy sideshow twin act. Then again, he wasn't ever bothered by anything much. He was really laidback. Patrick, not so much. I still didn't quite get him, but I guess I liked him nonetheless.

"What's your name? Names?" I corrected myself.

"I'm Lili," the one on the right said.

"And I'm Kiki," the one on the left said.

"Oh look, you have new friends," Talia said, appearing out of nowhere. It was like she had evil powers or something. She showed up when you were least expecting it. "They're cute."

"We don't like being called cute," the twins said, back to speaking together.

"Ehmahgawd." Talia flinched visibly and grabbed Dominic's arm. "They're scary," she whispered.

"Talia, they're little girls," Dominic said patiently. He didn't remove his arm from her grip, I noticed.

"We're not little," the twins chorused.

"Then they're not little girls," Dominic corrected. "How old are you?"

"Fourteen and three quarters," they said.

"Is that legal?" I questioned.

"We skipped a bunch of grades so we got special permission to be here."

"Dominic, I'm scared," Talia whined, taking the chance to press her chest against his shoulder.

"We don't appreciate that."

"Go away, Talia," I ordered.

"Shut up, Alexis." She reached for Dominic's pizza. "Can I have some?" He nodded.

"Could you just go away?" I asked.

The piece of pizza hit me in the chest. "Oops," she said, not at all convincingly. "Sorry, it slipped. I wish my aim with pizza was as good as your aim with shoes." She walked away, cackling like the evil witch that she was.

"That's not cool, Talia!" Dominic said loudly, standing to face the Demon.

Wow, that was the most worked up I've ever seen him. Everyone gaped like an idiot, even me. "O-okay," Talia said unsurely, taken aback by this side of Dominic.

"Apologize," he ordered.

"Yeah," she said distractedly. She paused and shook her head violently. "Wait, no way!" Thank goodness, she had come to her senses. She retreated, leaving me reassured. I thought she was going to apologize for a second there. The world would have ended. California would have sunk into the sea. Pluto would have been accepted as a planet.

Chris entered the mess hall and the room fell silent. "Hello interns new and old," he said. "We've got work to do! But first, we've got a surprise." A sense of foreboding set in. Surprises were not good around here. Not good at all. The dramatic pause wasn't helping a bit. "You're all going to Waffle Haus for breakfast tomorrow!" He flashed me a look that said 'You happy?' There was just one little thing I wanted to ask.

"Will we be the only people in Waffle Haus at 5 AM?" I asked. I borrowed another page from my mother's book and gave him my mother's signature staredown. Come on motherly gaze, do your stuff.

He cracked under the pressure. "Yeah, fine, we'll be there at eight." It was like Christmas had come early in that gross old pizza-smelling mess hall. Chris couldn't get us to stop cheering for a minute straight. "Anyway," he continued when we had calmed down slightly. "We've got work to do, so let's get moving! First, we've gotta assign you new interns to groups. So Lili and Kiki are in Group A, Gary, Charlie-" That was the tall girl. "So are you. Liana-" That was the girl who looked like Erica and even had headphones around her neck. "You're in Group B. Terrence, Group C for you." And glasses kid goes to Group C. Of course.

"Mr. Maclean, we're in the same group as her, right?" the twins asked, pointing at me. When did they get so attached to me?

Chris' eyes widen a fraction of an inch. "That's so creepy. They're like a scary-" He trailed off, a maniacal grin growing on his face. "Movie," he finished. "Group C, I need you to get me a chainsaw!" Oh look. Evil genius had struck him. "Group B, go into the city and get all the scary movies Blockbuster has. Chef will drive you."

"Say what?" Chef yelled, popping his head into the hall from the kitchen.

Most of Group B groaned. "Not with Chef," one guy moaned.

"I told you to stop calling me that!" Chef barked. "I don't even cook for you darn kids."

"But you will," Chris said ominously.

"I refuse to take these brats anywhere!"

"You can take the helicopter," Chris wheedled, dangling a set of keys from his index finger.

Chef was out of the kitchen with the keys in hand before I could blink. "Move it maggots!"

Group B stood and followed him with most of them looking like they were about to burst into tears. I felt bad for the newbie. Her first experience interning here would be in a helicopter with Chef.

"Group A, wait for me in the Arts and Crafts tent," Chris ordered, scurrying away with a evil look on his face.

"What's he up to?" the twins chorused.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I snapped.

"Doing what?"

"Never mind."

* * *

We found out soon enough what Chris had in mind. He spent the entire afternoon attempting to scare us witless. Most of his attempts to frighten us failed miserably.

"Can we take pity on the dude?" Dominic suggested.

"After everything he's put us through?" I said incredulously.

"He's taking us to Waffle Haus tomorrow," Dominic said, as if that showed Chris had turned over some sort of new leaf.

"That's because I forced him to!" I burst out. I realized what I had just said and wanted to smack myself in the forehead, but with all the bumps on the head I received in the past few days, I didn't think I could afford to lose any more brain cells. At least nobody else was near us. For some reason, they were still amused by making popsicle stick men.

"How'd you do that?" he asked curiously.

"I said he had to do me a favor if I greeted the new interns," I said miserably. That was sort of the truth.

"And he agreed?"

"Yes," I snapped.

"Really?"

"You don't believe me?" I nearly bit his head off there.

"Nah, of course I do," he said. He grinned and the dimple appeared again. I don't know why, but that dimple made me feel guilty. I hate guilt. It's a dumb emotion.

A 'ghost' dangled in front of our faces. The oh-so-scary ghost was made of tissue paper and a cotton ball. I could also see the string it was dangling from.

"Eek," I said flatly, batting the homemade ghost with my hand. "Get some better props, Maclean."

* * *

Chris' phase of frightening people came to an end by the end of the day. He did indeed get some better props. I nearly had a heart attack when I found a giant human-sized cockroach standing in the shower stall. The unfortunate Group B girl who was forced to wear the costume apologized non-stop for a long time. I wasn't nearly as scared by the strange costume Chris decided on in the end. (A hook, chainsaw, and a mask? Seems that this murderer is trying a little bit too hard.)

When I thought about it, that afternoon was the most relaxing I'd had in days. I tried not to think about it because the idea that being scared out of your wits a few times was relaxing to me now frightened me. I was in the communal bathroom, recovering from the giant cockroach scare, when I heard an angry scream.

"ALEXIS!"

Oh, the sweet sound of revenge. Looks like Talia discovered that I moved all her stuff into that bear's cave. I walked back to the cabin from the communal bathroom, humming a happy tune.

"What is this child doing on my bed?" Talia demanded to know once I was inside the cabin.

"Big Sister Alexis said we could have these beds," Lili and Kiki said in unison.

"Why'd you say that, Big Sister Alexis?" Talia said. She crossed her arms across her chest and tried to give me a staredown. Hah. Nice try, Demon Spawn. My mother _invented_ that pose.

"You can't turn out kids like them," I said, my victory already in sight.

"No, but I can take your bed," Talia said smugly.

You're a thousand years too early to try and defeat me, Demon Spawn. "You can try," I said. "If you can find your stuff."

Obviously she hadn't realized her stuff was missing before that moment because her face contorted into new expressions of anger. "I'm going to _kill_ you!" she shrieked.

I laughed and went to take a shower. Alexis: 2. Demon Spawn: 0.

* * *

Thanks very much for reading! I hope you'll leave a review.


	5. Chapter Five: Day Seven

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island and all of its characters are the property of Cartoon Network, Fresh TV, and Cake. I own nothing.

* * *

"Waffle Haus, Waffle Haus, Waffle Haus," Nina sang cheerfully, but tunelessly.

At 8 AM, true to his promise, Chris had provided a van to get us to Waffle Haus. It was a normal sized van, which meant it was way too small for almost twenty people, but we managed somehow. The memory of the ride is fuzzy, like the memories of things I want to forget often were.

We shuffled into Waffle Haus, which, as the name suggests, was a German breakfast restaurant that sold waffles almost exclusively. I marched up to the counter and ordered exactly what I wanted. "Triple Chocolate Waffles and a coffee, please," I said. Sugar and caffeine. Exactly what I needed to keep my sanity.

"And how will you be paying?" the cashier droned.

"Oh, that guy is paying," I said, pointing at Chris. "And we're all together." I saw Chris visibly flinch as I said that and the fact that it made me a little bit happy proved I had some sadism in me.

Our crew pretty much took over Waffle Haus. I was glad we had so many people, because I wouldn't have felt as safe alone. I had been in a Waffle Haus before, but that was near where I lived. This Waffle Haus was much sleazier. The few other customers seemed to be from the trucker population or the ex-convict population. Or both. Both populations were apparently not thrilled to have a huge group of starving teens invading their Waffle Haus.

When I got my food, I seated myself corner of the booth and surrounded myself with every intern I vaguely knew and liked as they finished ordering. It cut me off from the other inhabitants of the Waffle Haus. The rest of the Waffle Haus trip was uneventful except for one thing. I was sipping the last drop of coffee from the cracked mug Waffle Haus had supplied when someone's yelling nearly made me drop it.

"I'm serious!" Patrick yelled.

"So am I," Dominic said quietly. I looked over and saw the two of them alone at the booth across from me. I would have gone to see what was the matter, but the people surrounding me stopped me from going anywhere.

* * *

Sadly, our break from interning came to an end and we were transported back into the world of crappy food and constant torture. For the rest of the day, both Group A and B played absurdly extreme versions of different sports. For example, dodgeball and baseball with exploding balls. We played soccer with a ball made of metal. That didn't work so well. We played basketball with tasers. That was weird. I don't know where Chris got the taser idea.

Dodgeball was the last game we played before dinner. I was the first out and, thus, the first to discover that some of the balls exploded at random times. I watched most of the game from the sidelines. When there were only a few people left, I noticed that Patrick and Dominic were actually on opposite teams, which was different. Usually, they stuck together.

Something else was bothering me. Why did they look so winded, like they had been working their butts off? Everyone knew that you put the least amount of effort into these tests as possible unless Chris threatened to take away meals. (Or at least, the three of us knew. Dominic had pointed that fact out to me after I had run a freaking marathon and come in first place.)

The other few people gradually were knocked out, leaving only Patrick and Dominic. They traded balls with astonishing force. Both of them had really good throwing arms. They also traded insults. That was what clued me into the fact that they were mad at each other.

"Jerk!" Patrick yelled. He heaved a small, red sphere of danger at Dominic.

Dominic ducked and the ball whizzed over his head. "You're the jerk here," he replied. He threw a ball of his own at Patrick.

Patrick dove for the ground in a move that deserved to be in a movie in slow-mo. "I don't get you! It's just a joke for you!"

"You knew I was serious," Dominic shot back, throwing another few balls towards Patrick.

"I'm the one who's serious about it!" Patrick scrambled off the ground and ran across the court to pick up another few dodgeballs.

"I was first!" Dominic said, not pausing in his onslaught.

Patrick ducked and weaved, avoiding the red blurs flying towards him. "Who cares? You didn't say anything."

"Neither did you!" Dominic shouted, his voice at the loudest I had ever heard it. He dropped the ball he was holding lifelessly. "This is dumb," he muttered.

Patrick was silent.

* * *

Both Patrick and Dominic disappeared during dinner, which meant I was eating solo for the first time in a while. Well, I was solo until the creepy twin sideshow act seated themselves on either side of me. "Where are the boys that follow you around?" they said.

"They're not always with me," I muttered. Okay, they were freaking me out. I need backup. The nearest person was…."Nina!" I called.

Nina noticed me, and I noticed who Nina was linking arms with. Namely, one evil (ex)-roommate. "Hello, Alexis," Talia purred.

"You have a new friend, Nina?" I asked, getting very close to leaping across the table and throttling my nemesis.

"I've always been friends with Talia," Nina said cheerfully. Wait, I forgot. Nina was clueless. I would have to bang Talia violently over the head with a stick before Nina figured out that I absolutely hated her. "Did you want something?"

"Never mind," I said dismissively, trying to wrap my head around the idea of those two being friends. Talia's friends all seemed vapid, boring, and interchangeable. Nina was none of those things.

I headed back to the cabin early to escape the twins and the smell of pizza. I was reaching to open the door when I heard Patrick and Dominic's voices. Yeah, call me nosy, but I wanted to know what they were talking about. I froze and listened intently.

"Dude, she's so hot," Dominic said. "And strong."

"And freaking amazing," Patrick added.

There was a pause and I considered entering. They started talking again before I could. "Bro, I'm sorry I got all mad about it," Dominic said apologetically.

"Yeah, me too," Patrick agreed. Seriously? They were fighting over a _girl_? I rolled my eyes and pressed my ear to the door. Now I needed to find out who, and then share it with the lucky girl. "But I thought you liked more chill chicks?" Patrick continued.

"Normally I do, but she-"

"Hello," two voices said from behind me.

I squeaked and practically jumped out of my skin. I glanced behind me to see the twins staring at me with identical smiles. "Shhhh," I said authoritatively. I pressed my ear to the door again just in time to hear the word 'Talia.'

Oh no.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

They both liked Talia? Ew. That is super gross and wrong. I barged into the cabin at that point, just in time to hear them say 'Bros before hoes' and fist bump. I think it's pretty obvious that I blew a gasket. But I redirected my anger at something other than the top secret crushes they had on my evil nemesis.

"That is such a derogatory phrase," I raged. "I can't believe that you would stoop to the level where you degrade women like that. Just because it rhymes does not clever or politically correct."

Was it strange that neither of them stopped smiling while I yelled at them? It didn't bother me. I was happy to see them smiling.

* * *

Short chapter this time. It occurred to me after I was finished writing this chapter that Waffle Haus might be a real place. I googled it and PRESTO! I discovered it really was a real place. So if anyone finds a Waffle Haus, please think of me!

Thanks for reading! Please review.


	6. Chapter Six: Day Nine

Disclaimer: I don't own any of TDI.

* * *

I stood on the porch of the cabin, feeling that something was wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was something to do with the Group B and C people making strange paths across the campsite to their cabins. Maybe it was something to do with the way the ground looked like it had been turned upside down during the night. Maybe it was the fact that it was 8 AM, and we still hadn't gotten a wakeup call. Or maybe it was because Patrick and Dominic were into Talia.

Yeah, that last one was it.

Dominic joined me on the porch and put the feeling I had into words. "Something's up," he said suspiciously.

"I agree," I said. I shrugged the feeling off and decided to get breakfast. I stepped onto the ground and heard a ticking sound.

Dominic tackled me right before the mine exploded. We laid still on the ground, listening for more ticking. "Hey, thanks," I said grimly when I realized nothing was going to explode. "Could you get off me now?"

"Oh, yeah," he said quietly, scrambling to his feet. He pulled me up and we stood stock still. I was checking out the freshly dug up ground, but I don't know what he was looking at. He was staring off in the opposite direction.

"Is there anywhere they didn't dig?" I asked, resigned.

"Why don't we just run for it?" he suggested, still not looking at me.

"I've got an idea. Carry me."

His head whipped around and I noticed that his face was flushed. "Um, okay," he said agreeably.

"Get down, I'll get on your back," I advised. He crouched and I climbed onto his back. He ran for the mess hall, carrying me on piggyback. Somehow, we only set off three mines on our way there. The ride there was actually quite comfortable for me. I buried my face in his shoulder. He smelled really good for a guy. Not flowery, just clean.

"We made it," he announced, stepping into the hall.

We were the only people in the mess hall. I could hear Chef doing something or other in the kitchen, but the pizza was sitting untouched on one of the tables. I opened the box and when the smell of pizza hit me, I dry-heaved. "I'm going to go see what Chef has in the kitchen," I said.

"With you on that one," Dominic said quickly.

I pushed open the door and was nearly hit by a flying pan. Thankfully, the crazy reflexes I had gotten from this internship really paid off. "Get out o' my kitchen!" Chef screamed. "I'll serve it when I want to serve it!" I pushed open the door more cautiously the second time. I ducked out of the way of the flying wooden spoon.

"Ow," Dominic said behind me, rubbing his head.

"I told you to-" Chef stopped speaking abruptly when he saw us. "Oh. Thought you were Chris."

"We were wondering if you had any food besides pizza," I said warily.

"I'm using it to cook," he barked. "Stupid Chris says my cooking is disgusting."

"I'm sure it isn't," Dominic put in.

"You wanna try it?"

I jabbed an elbow into Dominic's spleen, which he deserved completely. From what I had seen of Chef's culinary skills, eating his food could have been used as a method of torture. "Yeah, sure," I agreed. If it got us food that wasn't pizza, I was willing to try almost anything.

Chef spooned something onto a plate that was grey and furry. Correct me if I'm wrong, but food isn't supposed to be _furry_. He handed us forks, which I forced myself not to stab Dominic with. The one bite I took of the concoction stayed with me for a long time. The taste was memorable, to say the least. The bite also coated my mouth with fur. "Delicious," I lied through my teeth. "Is there anything in the fridge?"

"Help yourself," Chef said distractedly. "I've got to get cooking."

The fridge was stocked mostly with raw ingredients, which were useless to us. I scavenged through the cabinets and found two apples. I tossed one to Dominic and kept looking. In the end I settled for one of the cartons of strawberry ice cream in the freezer. Dominic and I returned to the mess hall triumphant, snacking on our newly won breakfast.

I heard an explosion and a scream of pain from the outside. "I feel really lucky," Dominic said. He dug into the carton of ice cream with his spoon.

"The only reason I got over here is because you carried me," I pointed out. "So thanks for that."

"No problem," he said. He grinned and took a bite of ice cream.

The door flew open and revealed Patrick standing outside. He frowned at us. "How'd you guys get here so quickly?"

"Your pants are on fire," I pointed out calmly.

He beat out the small flame smoldering on his jeans and sat with us. "Ice cream? Awesome." He pulled my spoon out of my hand and dug into the ice cream.

"Hey!" I protested. "My spoon!"

"Sorry, it's just the idea of sharing an indirect kiss with you is so appealing," Patrick said with a straight face. He stuck the spoon in his mouth before I could do anything.

"Shut up, Patrick," I replied. I headed for the kitchen to grab another spoon. Once again, Patrick had thrown me for a loop. Just when I thought I was getting to know him, he'd always say something utterly ridiculous like that.

When I returned, Talia had made it to the mess hall. It gave me great pleasure to see that the ends of her hair were singed. "Oh great, it's _you_," she said.

"I should be the one saying that," I said under my breath.

"Actually, I want to talk to you," she said, an evil grin on her face. "Alone."

That was certainly intriguing. I allowed myself to be pulled aside. She stood by the door, silently leering at me, until I broke the silence. "What do you want?"

"I know about what happened with Chris," she whispered.

My heart didn't just skip one beat, it skipped about three. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said unconvincingly.

"Don't bother denying it," Talia said, a superior smile on her overly made up face. "I've got proof and I'll tell everyone. You wouldn't want those two knowing about that, would you?" She gestured towards Dominic and Patrick. "They'd be so jealous and would probably never talk to you again."

"Why would they be jealous?" I asked, completely clueless about what she was talking about.

She laughed like I had said something unbelievable. "Wow, you're even dumber than I thought. Do I have to spell it out for you?" Evidently, she did. "They're totally into you," she said slowly, like I was a two year old.

And then the penny dropped.

* * *

"Now that you've all made it over here," Chris said, looking us over for signs of injuries. He wasn't disappointed. "We're going to head on over to the cliff."

I tuned him out. What was I going to do about the Patrick/Dominic situation? Did I even like either of them? I glanced at the two of them. They were sitting on either side of me, listening intently to Chris. There was Patrick, who was always teasing me with some sort of nickname or pickup line. But when I actually talked to him that time in the pit, I ended up liking him. Then there was Dominic, who had helped me out so many times during those crazy challenges we tested and was able to calm me down from one of my outbursts, which not many people could do.

"Alexis?" Dominic called. "Hello? Anybody in there?"

"What?" I said like an idiot.

"Hurry up, sweetheart," Patrick said. "Everyone else is already gone."

I looked up and saw that it was true. "Okay." I didn't miss the look Patrick and Dominic exchanged. I knew I was acting strange. Normally, I would have snapped at Patrick for calling me sweetheart, but I just didn't have the energy.

"You feeling okay?" Dominic asked.

No. Not at all. "Yes," I said brusquely.

I puzzled over the problem all day, which distracted me from everything I was forced to do. Dominic was the only reason I didn't kill myself. I set off several mines while not paying attention to where I was going. After pushing me out of the way for the fifth time, Dominic asked if I was sick. I babbled something incoherent and continued on my way.

"Psst!" Nina said loudly, distracting me from my thoughts. "Come here!" I did so grudgingly. I didn't want anything to distract me until I figured out a solution to this problem. "I just wanted to tell you I'm so sorry about the Chris thing," Nina said quickly. "I totally didn't mean to show Talia that, it was just that she was so interested in looking at the camera footage that I let her check out the recordings we took and then we saw you kissing Chris and she was all like, haha I'm going to get Alexis, and I didn't even know that she didn't like you and-"

"Please stop," I interrupted her, putting an end to the barrage of words coming out of her mouth. "I don't really care right now. And I didn't kiss Chris, he kissed me. Without my permission."

"That makes more sense," she said, nodding.

"Bye," I said, already wandering off. I think I was supposed to be running through the minefield, but I couldn't be bothered.

I still hadn't reached a conclusion by dinner. Which one was I going to choose, if I even decided to choose one of them? I jumped a mile into the air when somebody said my name.

"Oh, hi, Patrick," I said.

"What's up?" he replied. I looked at him carefully. I thought he was good looking. And I enjoyed spending time with him. He was possible boyfriend material.

Just not my possible boyfriend material, I decided. Just because he was buff, tan, and hot didn't mean he was right for me. "I heard that you liked me," I said, cutting straight to the chase.

He He laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I wasn't interested," I said hurriedly. "Sorry."

"Okay," he said uncomfortably.

"Sorry," I said again. I walked as briskly as possible away from him, into our cabin. Hopefully, I hadn't lost a friend there.

Inside the cabin, I met Dominic, like heaven had put him there. He grinned at me, the dimple appearing again, and tossed a blue ballet flat at me. "I found your shoe," he said. "It was under my bed."

I looked at the shoe in my hand and got this funny feeling in my chest, like my heart was doing somersaults in there.

I chose Dominic.

The one who had saved my bacon more times than I could count.

The one who tried to make Talia apologize to me.

The one listened to my crazy rants.

"Hey, do you like me?" I asked.

"Yeah, you're a great friend," he said.

I stuck my thumbs in my jean shorts' pockets. "Not like that," I said, never one to beat around the bus. "Like a girlfriend."

The ground suddenly fascinated him. "Yeah."

I slid my arms around him and rested my forehead on his. "Me too." I kissed him then, long and slow.

_

* * *

_

_That pretty much wraps this story up. Well, except for a few tiny details. _

* * *

Dominic pulled out of the kiss suddenly, his expression one of alarm. "I didn't tell you something important."

"More important than kissing?" I wanted to kiss my new boyfriend forever. Or at least until I got too hungry to ignore my stomach anymore.

"I lied to you," he said seriously. Okay. That got my attention. I sat back and listened. "I never told you why I made friends with you. You knew that Patrick and I knew each other before this internship, right?" No, I hadn't. I shook my head. "Well, anyway, we kind of made a bet to see if I could make you like me or if Patrick could make you like him. The winner got a hundred bucks from the loser. But then both of us started to really like you and we forgot about the bet. Anyway, I'm really sorry." He stopped babbling and checked my face to gauge my anger.

"That's pretty despicable of you guys," I said, choosing my words carefully. But you know what? I would forgive him just this once. I'm sure there would be plenty of other stuff for me to get mad about in the future. And I had a confession to make too. "But I'll forgive you. And I have something to tell you too." I took a deep breath before blurting out the terrible truth. "Chriskissedme."

"What?"

"Chris kissed me," I repeated.

"When?" he asked incredulously.

"When I was yelling at him about the mechanical bull thing," I said miserably.

He shrugged. "You _are_ pretty hot when you're yelling at people."

"You really think so?" I said brightly. My eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Wait, is that why you always look so cheerful and calm when I'm yelling at you?"

He chuckled and kissed me.

I eventually became so hungry that I pulled Dominic over to the mess hall. We were greeted by something even more terrible than pizza.

Chef had begun to cook for us. Apparently, our praise for his cooking earlier and convinced him that his food was delicious and Chris had no sense of taste. (Chris had hired Chef because of his terrible culinary skills. Chris' only mistake was telling Chef that fact.) My appetite fled when I caught sight of what Chef had served and I found myself actually wishing for pizza again.

Talia's face lit up with evil glee when she caught sight of me. "Listen up, everyone!" she yelled, standing on the table. "Did you know that Alexis kissed Chris?"

"I didn't kiss him, he kissed me!" I retorted. "Big difference!"

There was a shocked silence in the mess hall until one of the girls from Group B piped up. "He kissed me too," she said quietly.

"Me too!" another girl yelled.

"No way, me too!"

"Yeah, he kissed me too!"

I started to laugh. This day just got better and better. I had gotten the guy and foiled the evil plans of my nemesis. I was pretty awesome, if I did say so myself.

* * *

A/N: And we're almost done! This is technically the last chapter, but I have an epilogue to put up later. Thanks for reading, everyone! Here's an extra-special recommendation for you guys:

**Recommendation: **

Total Drama: Payback

**After four rough seasons of Total Drama, Courtney, fed up with Chris's sick and borderline inhumane tactics, teams up with the producers to create Total Drama Payback, a season with a focus instead on finally getting revenge on Chris. **

Sound good? It should. First of all, the summary has good punctuation and grammar. Secondly, the idea is actually executed well with crack pairings and a plot that will knock your socks off. What are you waiting for? CLICK ON THE LINK ALREADY!**  
**


	7. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own TDI. I own my characters.

Go vote in the poll people! I want to know your favorite characters.

_

* * *

So this is the end of my story. Or at least, the end of the beginning. I've got a lot more interning to do. Thinking back, it seems like Dominic and I got together really quickly. (My mother made sure to point that out when I called home.) But I think that in life or death situations, people tend to cling to life and do things they wouldn't normally. So I guess at least one good thing came of being an intern. Well, two things. My boyfriend is one and all the amazing people I met here- not counting Demon Spawn or Chris- are the other.  
_

_

* * *

_Dominic sprinted across the field, setting off mines left and right. It got to the point where I couldn't even see him through the smoke and the flames. I was pretty sure that Chris had come up with this challenge just to get rid of the remaining mines. I never had understood why he made Groups B and C put down so many. It was already the end of the two weeks before the show started, and we still hadn't set off all the mines.

"Jump!" Dominic yelled. "I'll catch you!"

I was standing on the top of a building Group B had recently constructed holding a large amount of red balloons. The idea for the challenge was that I had to jump off the building, Dominic had to catch me, and then he had to run across the finish line. I was surrounded by a few other girls from Group A that were staring at the ground doubtfully. It _did_ look awfully far down. But I had already gone through Mattress Skydiving, so this was going to be a piece of cake. I hopped off the building. (The balloons did nothing to break my fall.) Dominic grabbed me and ran for the finish line.

"And the Golden Couple win again," Chris said, watching us charge past the finish line with an amused expression. "Too bad about the rest of them."

I felt bad for those other kids. Most of them had arrived the day before yesterday and almost all of them were already back home nursing serious injuries. "Stow it, Maclean," I shot at him.

"We have awesome survival instincts now," Dominic commented. "We're like cockroaches. You just can't crush us."

"I'm not a cockroach," I huffed, shooting him my newly created girlfriend glare. He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders. I let him, even though I was still miffed about the cockroach comparison.

"You can go get dinner now," Chris said. "Make sure to have your stuff out of the cabins by the end of the day, we have contestants coming tomorrow."

"Whatever, dude," Dominic said, speaking for both of us.

We strolled off towards the mess hall. I would have liked to stroll into the sunset, but really, around Wawanakwa how many picture perfect moments were you going to find? I was perfectly happy with this one, I decided as I snuggled my head into Dominic's shoulder.

* * *

Alexis + Skater Boi = Luv 4Ever

* * *

A/N: And that's the end people. I'm glad you guys all stuck around for this whole story. I enjoyed writing it a lot. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I liked writing it. And here's my recommendation for what you should read next:

Total Drama: Payback

fanfiction .net/s/6164691/1/Total_Drama_Payback

**After four rough seasons of Total Drama, Courtney, fed up with Chris's sick and borderline inhumane tactics, teams up with the producers to create Total Drama Payback, a season with a focus instead on finally getting revenge on Chris. **

Sound good? It should. First of all, the summary has good punctuation and grammar. Secondly, the idea is actually executed well with crack pairings and a plot that will knock your socks off. So what are you waiting for? GO READ IT ALREADY! (Take the space out of the url.)**  
**


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